Delbert passed away in October

I got a message from Carrie Collier Martinez via facebook asking me to call her so that she could tell me what happened to her Dad. My curiosity got the best of me and I called. I had sent her some genealogy some years ago, but it was returned and I thought I had lost contact with her.

Carrie told me that Delbert had passed away on the 29th of October in Iowa. Carrie's family brought him home to Salt Lake and he's buried there close to his family.

The picture to the right is of Delbert and his mother, Betty Laraine Vance Luster.

The picture to the left is of Delbert, Donnie, Uncle Richard and Grandma Vance. I suspect that this picture was taken in 1946. I don't know where the picture was taken. Possibly, it was in LaJara. I believe this is the only picture we have of Grandma Vance.

Delbert was the oldest of the Vance grandsons. RaeDean Barber (Howey), and Norene Summers were older than him.

Donnie is the only person in this picture that is still alive. Uncle Richard's son, Gerald lives here in Colorado Springs. I ran into him recently when Betty and I were out shopping.

Mom's photo albums had this page of pictures of the Luster Family. Delbert it lounging in the center.

Delbert's sister Diane died some years ago as did his brother, Ronnie. I don't know anything about Harold.

These pictures bring back a lot of memories to me of the Luster home south of LaJara, Colorado. We spent a lot of time with the Lusters. Sometimes, we had fun, and sometimes we got into trouble. When we got into trouble, Delbert always got the worst of the punishment. I never could understand why things had to be so hard for him.

For a while, Delbert stayed with Mom. He really fought depression.

I was really grateful when Delbert's family came to a family reunion in Sandy, Utah and we got an opportunity to know them. I wish we knew them better.

Hands tell us so much

I loved to study my father's hands. They were unlike any other hands I have ever seen. They were covered with freckles and they were cracked from the work he did and most of the times they were stained. The grease and oil from the garage was ground into the cracks of his skin and for many years, they were stained yellow from his tobacco usage. I feared those hands when I misbehaved as a child, but as I matured, I was fascinated by his ability to turn a wrench in the most awkward of places. He loved to work wood and in his later years, he often stood in sawdust as his hands fashioned frames and toys from the wood.

This last year, Betty and I have had a rare opportunity. We have been learning to talk to a dear friend, Mattie, who is hearing impaired. Her hands gracefully move as she forms the words and thoughts she wants to convey. She has been patient with us as she has helped us learn how to form words, and phrases and sentences. We have learned to say simple prayers and express affection.

In church, we watch as the talks and hymns are interpreted from vocal expressions to graceful poetic manual ballet. We can't understand it all, but slowly we are beginning to learn. We don't have to understand every word to appreciate sign language. We do understand enough to get the general idea.

Another pair of hands that I love to watch are my sweetheart's. They are beautiful to me. I see her use her hands as she creates beautiful cards for friends on special occasions. I watch as she does the many things around our home and am grateful for the things she does. Her hands are dainty, but are beginning to show signs of aging. Her wedding rings no longer fit comfortably over her arthritic knuckles, and they don't open jars as easily as once they did. Her hands tell me that she loves me by the things that she does.

What I do with my hands also relays a message to those I love. I make a living for our family with my hands and there are times that they ache from over use, yet I feel a need to continue to use them to express the feelings of my heart. I love my family and find that I can use my hands to tell them so. I can also use my hands help Betty with her household chores, or I can while my time away putzing around on the Internet. I need to be careful about how I use my hands and how I use my time.

I went through my pictures looking images of people's hands. I believe that the ones that said the most to me were the one of Larry and Jeanette's hands when they were married, and this one. These are the hands of my Mother and my Father. Their hands in this photo symbolize unity and love and caring. I pray that I can keep my hands busy, keep them clean, and keep them ready to serve my family for the rest of my days. I hope that my hands will tell my loved ones the things that I would want them to say.

The silence is deafening

The week went too quickly for us. We enjoyed the visits this week from Andi and Ashleigh and from Brenda's family. We talked and laughed and enjoyed each other's company. But all things eventually come to an end.

Andi was only here for a couple of hours last weekend. Her visit ended all too soon. She had to go home because Matthew, Luke, her animals were all at home alone.

Grandpa Wagner was here this morning to give the Bonnichsens a good send off as they head back to South Dakota. Through a veil of tears, we said our goodbyes to Brenda, Chloe and Aubrey. We waived as their well packed van turned the corner and out of sight.

I've been wearing a headset all week to shut out the sound of people coming and going. I discovered a new web site http://www.pandora.com/. It's an internet radio station where you can create your own collections of music you like. I've been listening to all of my favorite music: Country and Western, Broadway Musicals, Rock and Roll, and rock artists from the 60's and 70's. It helped me stay focused on my work. Today after everyone left, I removed the headset and turned the music off. It was so quiet that it is rather unsettling.

Brewster romped and played with the kids while they were here. This afternoon, he enjoyed a long quiet nap. We love our kids and really enjoy them when they visit.

When I was a kid

Sundays were structured differently years ago. When we went to church, it was an all day affair. Priesthood and Sunday School were in the morning, then we went home for lunch. Sacrament Meeting was later in the afternoon. Meetings like Primary, Mutual, and Relief Society were held on a different day of the week. I remember one Sunday, Grandpa Dunn passed out in sacrament meeting. All of his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren got up and left with him. It was quite a crowd.

Occasionally on Sunday, we would go and visit relatives. One of those visits was to my Aunt Betty's house. Dad and Uncle Harold would hunt and fish together. Harold always had new equipment but their home was very modest. It had concrete floors with no covering. You entered the house through the kitchen and there were two bedrooms. The master bedroom and the kid's' bedroom. The living room was a long narrow room that doubled as a bedroom. I think it was there that I was exposed to our first television programming. We would watch the Loretta Young Show, The Grey Ghost, The invisible man, and when the test pattern came up, it was time for us to go home.

Some Sundays, we loaded up the car and headed for the mountains. Sometimes we went fishing. Sometimes we went for a pic nic, sometimes, we just went riding. We would sing songs and play games. Found a Peanut was a regular and so was Old McDougal's Ford.

Dad loved pulling pranks on us as children. He told us to watch for the Indian, Falling Rocks, and would point out the signs that warn to watch for falling rocks. He also told us that there was a rock in the Conejos River that had ice on it all year long. Actually the rock had an advertisement for block ice painted on it. Environmentalists have since pushed to have the paint removed from the rock.

Sunday Dinners were also an important tradition. When Mom cut up a chicken, we each had our "assigned" pieces. We each had assigned seats. Dad was at the head and Mom at the other end of the table. We always began with a blessing on the food. Once in a while, Dad would ask the blessing, "Over the teeth and through the gums. Look out stomach here it comes!". All of us but Mom found it amusing. We laughed and talked and enjoyed each other's company.

Those times we spent together made us strong as a family. We bonded, and we learned about each other.

I still enjoy Sundays. They are a time for worship and prepare for the coming week. I really miss the family activities. We are so far from each other.

Reunion starts with a temple visit

For a long time, Mom (Gatha) has wanted all of her family to go to the temple together. We did that on Thursday, June 12. Mom was pleased to have us all together.

In the photo to the right are Larry and Jeanette Vance, Emery and Bonnie Olsen, Betty and Kent Vance, Donnie and Gloria Vance and seated is Gatha Wilson

The Reunion

We were fortunate to have some time to spend together in Pine Valley, Utah. Momma Gatha has a friend that owns this fine place we stayed for a couple days. We gathered and conversed.



We worked in the projects for the reunion that have been proceeding for the past few months.



We then began to have some fun. We played games -- like this redneck horseshoe game. Balls on a rope were hurled at a stand with three rungs. The lower rung scores three, the middle two, and the top but one. Here Emery shows off his style.



And here is Bonnie holding her cache of blue balls waiting her turn.



We had a jumping good time.



Sometimes I even surprise myself.



Shandi says, "What are you thinking?"



Monica just is happy to be here.



And then there is the good looking brother, Kent.



We enjoyed watching some skits.



Some are less inclined to be photographed.



With some coercion I was able to see most of her face.



Now she thinks it is funny.



And then we see. It was our beautiful Danette. Why be camera shy?



Someone scores a ringer.



YUP, it was me.



Story time.



We had a birthday party. Here Katee is toting her bag on her shoulder.



The store was kept for last. There was a merit system, where each participant was allowed to earn redneck bucks to spend at the store. Here are the hoards descending on the booty.



Aubrey followed her mothers queue of being a bit reluctant to put on her best for a photograph.



But her grandpa, Don, was there at his best.



Then we packed and ...



Said goodbye.

Bonnie Lynn

Aunt Bonnie Lynn. Dad's sister, daughter to Gatha Bingham-Vance-Wilson and Arlo Vance, the coolest grandfather to squeal and squeek at me. All giving of fine memories.

Grandpa played Santa at the church in Manassa one year and I was determinted that everyone know "MY GRANDPA IS SANTA!" He had a green plastic chair. Back to Bonnie Lynn!

I remember a time riding in one of Aunt Bonnie's cars with the sunroof open, laying down on the seat looking up through the opening in the car. Watching the trees go by and the blue sky with the bright white clouds passing as if they themselves were stationary!

Another time in the Valley sleeping in the silver bullet camper and her getting ready for bed with her hair pulled up. I always thought she had the most beautiful red hair! She wore her red hair better than any other red haired female I knew! I always thought she was the coolest!

I felt a little jealous when my oulder cousins were allowed to wear Bonnie's old shoes with heels! I wanted a pair so bad, but I was always too young. When I was finally old enough, I way surpassed ever being able to fit into one of Bonnie's cool hand-me-downs!

When I moved in with Dad and Betty in Longmont in the early 1990's, she made me feel warm and welcome with the care package that she sent! I always felt special around Aunt Bonnie! She has always been filled with a warmth that radiates off of her!

Treasures

Today has been an emotional day for me in a really good way. I have been working hard at packing our office and trying to sluf off some of the rubbish that has collected in desk drawers and in book shelves. It's been hard to decide what to keep and what to discard.

Among the treasures unearthed today were three letters. The first was a letter to Andrea and Robert that was never mailed telling of my love for them and the frustration of not being able to see them. Another was a letter to Betty to reasure her of my love as she prepared to go through the temple with her Mom and Dad without me because I was not worthy to go with her. The third treasure was a letter from Larry at a time in my life that I was really hard on myself because of the poor choices I had made. These are three treasures that I'll always keep. It has been good to remember those times and realize that I have made progress in my life.

The love of my family has made all the difference in the world.

I didn't get all of the packing done that I had hoped to do today, but it has helped me realize that the greatest treasure I have is the love of my family. That is something you can't pack in a box or store in the cupboard. Althought I can't hold it in my hands, it can be mine forever.