Remembering Mission

I have a history of Arlo and this is part of it: On April 2, 1981 he went to Denver for his first heart by-pass operation after accepting a call to serve a mission with Gatha. He needed to prepare himself physically to go. After 2 more operations and time to recuperate he was ready to go.

Heavenly Father called them to serve in the Holbrook, Arizona Mission. They were to report on September 29, 1982, to the Mission Training Center in Provo, Utah.
While serving their Heavenly Father for twelve months, Gatha and Arlo were able to grow spiritually, see the power of the Priesthood and the Spirit of the Lord in action. They developed a love for the Lamanites (Indians). Their love for each other grew very much during these times. They had fun times too. The Indian children loved to rub his bald head. He said at one time, “If you want your head shined go on a mission.” Another time he locked Gatha in the bathroom, turned on the hot water in the kitchen while Gatha was showering, giving her a cold shower. He had a good sense of humor.

I remember the time the kids and I went to pick up Arlo and Gatha in Zuni, New Mexico from their mission. It was a special time for us. We were able to see the trailer and the church in Zuni. We were able to go to a special meeting at the mission home where they cut Grandpa's necktie and a lock of Grandma's hair at the end of their mission. I also remember when Don and I took Arlo and Gatha to the mission home and able to attend a meeting there to say 'good-bye'. I knew after that meeting that is was a special place for them to be. The spirit was really strong. When I took Danette to the mission home I knew from this time that she was going to be in a special place.

Vanishing treasures

I have spent the last week going through an envelope of histories and photos sent by my mother, Gatha Wilson. I feel a real sense of urgency after having gone through them. One of the precious treasures was a journal entry from my father, Donald Arlo Vance's journal. I would like to share that entry dated October 2, 1982 here.

"Tho it seems almost to late to start a journal at my sunset years in life. I will relate to it as building a house. Starting from the ground going up, but being able after building the frame work to work on all sides and ends. I was born as the third son and fifth child (of ten children) of Charles B. Vance better known as Charley and Rosey Verdeame (Beals) Vance better known as Verdie both being members of the church and very lovable and spiritual. Being the 5th child I was followed by three more brothers and two more little sisters. My older brother being the first living child of that union was named Charles Melvin Vance going by the name Melvin. Altho being somewhat younger than Melvin was always very close as we were growing up remembering a lot of good times and some sad -- next comes Isabell my older and very lovable sister who was only 18 mo's younger than Melvin. Next comes Alta May 19 monthes younger than Isabell a very delightful and lovely sister.... Next is Earl Leslie being two years younger that Alta (all of which have passed qway.) Next being yours truly, four years younger than Earl being born July 20, 1922 in a small saw mill near a small settlement named Patacka, New Mexico not far south and west of Tres Piedras, New Mexico. My father and mother moving from Patacka when I was a small child to my fathers homestead in a small settlement called Fox Creek located on the Conejos River, seventeen miles west of Antonito, Colo. up at the mouth of what is known now as the Massey Canon. There is a younger brother Alva Ernest who being only two years younger than myself and sometimes bigger or I should say huskier than myself who at the time we were younger was of a slighter build but was always able to talk Alva into doing most of the mischief when we were together. Next was Betty Lorrain two years younger than Alva. Next came Jessie Lavern who was like myself being of slight and slim build and could talk a blue streak from the day she was about 8 months to the present time. Now along comes Richard Stanley who also like myself was freckled and sandy haired who as a small boy went to live with my sister Alta after my father died when Richard was around 10-12 years old. Next and last my baby brother Maurice Wayne who died at about 1/12 years of age."

Every single member of my father's family has now passed away. Although they are gone, we have stored in our minds vivid memories of them and of our interaction with them. If we don't share them, they will be gone. I would like to invite you in the coming months to share the memories that you have of them so that their histories will be alive and real for our children and theirs.

Living with God's creatures

My wife and I live in a beautiful neighborhood in the shadow of Pikes Peak and not far from the Garden of the Gods park. We enjoy our interaction with some of the wild life in our neighborhood.

Last night, we came home from a meeting and as we drove into the driveway in our back yard, we were greeted by an adolescent deer. She was quietly grazing on our back lawn. As we drove in, she displayed no fear of us whatsoever. She lifted her head and watched us drive up the driveway, then she turned again to her grazing. I got out of my car as Betty went into the house through the garage. I was curious and rather than going into the house through the garage, I went into the back yard to see how close I could get to the deer. When I got within about two feet of her, she bolted and was gone.

When I got up about three this morning to let our pup out to do his business, the young deer was back. Rather than disturb her, I just let the dog out the front door. We really enjoy watching the animals as they come and go.

We went for a stroll through the neighborhood this morning. As we passed a home with a wooden deck, I noticed a young kit stick his head out from beneath the deck. Before long, it was joined by it's sibling and both of it's parents. The fence must have made them feel secure, because they just continued playing until we walked away. I didn't get picture of the fox family. I'll have to take my camera with me on our walk tomorrow and I'll try and get a snapshot of them to add to this article.

I think that it's wonderful to enjoy these animals, but with that enjoyment comes a responsibility. These are wild animals and we are on the border between the city and their natural habitat. I feel that we must do what we can to insure that these animals are protected as the city encroaches into their domain. It is our responsibility that we do not do things that will endanger their survival.

trips and travel

I remember several trips I have taken with my brother-in-laws from Colorado to Farmington. It was nice to have them to be my navigators. Also I remember also a trip to Mesa Verde where we enjoyed family, picnics and fun. Kent and Larry traveled with us and my family to visit the ruins. We stopped at a place outside La Plata so we could eat. There was some water near by and Don and his brothers were having a water fight if I remember correctly. It was a fun time.

Extended family

For me, the worst feeling in the world is isolation. It's something that has nothing to do with the number of people who are physically close to me. I can feel isolated in a crowd. Indeed, there have been times that I have been at meetings and have felt that there was nobody that was interested in me, my thoughts or my feelings. Other times, I have felt wanted, appreciated and valued when very few were around me. So what does this have to do with extended family?

There was a time that I hated my home town because I felt unwanted and unappreciated. There have been other times, however that I felt just the opposite. The difference was mostly within me. When I have felt that my life was aligned with the values I accepted as a boy, I have felt more valued. When I didn't, I had a tendency to pull away from the people that could provide the acceptance that I so desperately needed in fear of being rejected.

There has been a core group of people that I have always been able to depend on to buoy me up and help me when I was discouraged or downhearted. My mother has been one of those people, but that's a mother's job. She is supposed to love and support her children even when they aren't very loveable. My father once wrote me a letter that had the encouragement that I needed at the time, but it was his job too. I am not saying that I didn't appreciate their love and support. I did.

I have three wonderful siblings. They and their families have been good to me and have loved me even in the hard times. I am especially grateful for my younger who had a special knack of giving the right encouragement at the right time.

After years of pushing people away, I am wanting to reconnect with my extended family. Sometimes that isn't easy. It seems people don't want relationships with people they consider total strangers, or don't trust people who have not been approachable. Damaged relationships cannot be repaired overnight, but they are worth the effort.

Cousins have begun reconnecting with me. It may be superficial at the time, but
I love the feeling of belonging. I feel that I belong to the most wonderful family in the world. I hope that with time, we will be able to nurture the family connections that are healthy and worthwhile in a time that the world feels so unstable.